Bobby Bowden is a hard ass

Bobby Bowden is the harvester of sorrow. One small mistake by his players and they know that they will never see the field again. His quick enforcement and keen eye for keeping problems minimized make him so badass that Dog the Bounty Hunter trembles in his midst. Never before has this nation seen someone so ruthlessly efficient in addressing infractions

Bobby "Executioner" Bowden's most recent brand of punishment came at the expense of the notorious Preston Parker. Preston, or as is his friends like to call him, PP, was arrested for having a loaded .45 caliber and bag of weed. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but the Executioner doesn't want those types of misdeeds on his team. No sirree, that stuff just don't fly at The Florida State University.

With the quick sword of Justice, the Executioner suspended PP. For 2 meaningless games against Western Carolina and Chattanooga. Are you f'ing kidding me? FSU is a team full of losers and thugs whose only competition for douchebaggery is another ACC school that is coming on hard in the stretch run (I'm looking at you Virginia Polytechnic Institute and yes, that was a double entendre referencing Marcus Vick's dalliance with a 15 year old).

Quick...name a player for Western Carolina or Chattanooga. Hell, just tell me which division they play in? Those teams don't even show up in Phil Steele's preview (on newstands in June!). Have some balls, Bobby, and lay down an example for your team. At this rate, I guess it takes at least a crime of violence to miss the Wake Forest game.