An off-the-cuff review of South Carolina

What they are known for: Being the “other” USC. Also known for not being as good as Tennessee, Florida or Georgia, but better than Kentucky and Vanderbilt. Every year, you hear that this is the year the Gamecocks get it done and win the SEC East. Every year, they fail to do so. Couldn’t do it under Lou Holtz and still haven’t done it under Steve Spurrier. Until you win your division, you aren’t really as good as you think you are.

What they should be known for: Steve Taneyhill’s mullet. His glorious flowing locks should be much more notorious than they are. They can best be described as a glorious combination of hair band hair, Busch beer, and NASCAR before it was popular. In fact, his hair is still considered cool in the South.

Face of the Program: As many of you know, ESPN is running a face of the program series in which the all-mighty Worldwide Leader tells the fans who is the face of the program. Their choices are, as the kids say, wack. Seriously, they picked Ralphie as Colorado’s face of the program. Anyway, here is who should be the face of the program:

Steve Spurrier. AND ITS NOT EVEN CLOSE. Yeah, I know that George Rogers won the Heisman while at South Carolina. In fact, he is their ONLY college football hall of fame player (according to my impeccable wiki research). But, how many people actually know or remember that he won the Heisman. Probably no one outside of Columbia, South Carolina. But who doesn’t know Steve Spurrier? No one that you want to hang out with, that’s who. If you know and hang out with someone that doesn’t know who Spurrier is, get the hell off of this website.

Schedule: This is the MOST overlooked indicator of how a team will perform.

Aug. 28, 2008 NC State – Loss. What could be better than kicking off the season with this fine primetime matchup of traditional also-rans. I have no idea how these teams will do but I do know that Tom O’Brien > Steve Spurrier.

Sept. 4, 2008 at Vanderbilt – Win. I know some bloggers are in love with Vandy, but I just don’t see it happeneing.

Sept. 13, 2008 Georgia – Loss. UGA is tough. South Carolina is not tough. It’s a 3:30 game but if this was a night game, I would have gone with the upset.

Sept. 20, 2008 Wofford – Win. I guess Tufts wasn’t available for this date.

Sept. 27, 2008 UAB – Win. Damn, another UAB game. Am I actually going to have to do a UAB preview?

Oct. 4, 2008 at Ole Miss – Loss. Ole Miss will be better with an actual QB this year.

Oct. 11, 2008 at Kentucky – Win. Boy, the stands will be packed for this one.

Oct. 18, 2008 LSU – Loss. I really, really want to pick the Gamecocks for this one, but the talent level just isn’t there.

Nov. 1, 2008 Tennessee – Win. Fine, there is your “upset.”

Nov. 8, 2008 Arkansas – Win. Spurrier v. Petrino. A game for the ages.

Nov. 15, 2008 at Florida – Loss. I know they traditionally keep it close, but its time for Florida to kick the hell out of South Carolina.

Nov. 29, 2008 at Clemson – Win. People love Clemson waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much this year for Clemson to actually show up in a big game.

So there you have it, 7-5 and a lower tier bowl. Wow, another 7-5 SEC team. Go figure.

New Recruits: William Outstanding does not really care about your recruiting class for two years. I know your team has some studs coming in, but they aren’t going to carry you to the title unless their name is Tebow….so stuff it.

Key Player to know so that you sound smarter than you are: Kenny McKinley (Wide Receiver) – you know that Spurrier will have someone throwing the ball around, well, someone has to catch it and this is the guy.